We made it!

We're here. We'll update some of our last stops. But for now the one guy, four girls, and two cats are enjoying Santa Monica.

Kris

Twilight Live – Zion, Utah – by Tonya

After a bonkers night in Moab, we headed to Arches National Park. We told Kris to take us to the arches, meaning McDonalds for breakfast, but we ended up in a weird desert with what Ali referred to as, “just a bunch of holes in rocks.” Despite our initial hesitation to venture out, we ended up having a major fun and memorable hike. Along the way, I mentioned how funny it was that Crystal and Ali were both wearing “Late Night” T-shirts. What follows is the dialogue from there:
“I like yours.” - Ali
“Thanks, I stole this one.” – Crystal
“Hey, I used to have a shirt like that.” – Rachel
Pause.
“Um, I think I stole this from Lauren…or you.” – Crystal
Arches was simply breathtaking. When I criticized Crystal on her on foot stance on the mountain, she responded with, “Well, apparently, you’ve never rock climbed before.” This commanded an eruption of laughter because Crystal is allergic to nature and all outdoor activities. She decided to pretend she was filming a workout video by doing some crunches on the rocks.

I spent some quality time with the only male in the universe who could put up with a car load of girls for so many days. Despite so much eye rolling from him that I am beginning to become concerned that his eye balls may permanently dislodge from their sockets, I think he secretly enjoys it.

We were all huge fans of north window but were a little underwhelmed by south window.
Crystal stopped to read about how the arches are formed: “That’s a cool story. I don’t believe it, but it’s cool.” We drove through desert for miles and miles. Then we hit Zion National Park. This night was Mexican Fiesta night and got accordingly out of control. We were fresh off the second viewing of Twilight and, once we found a tiny amphitheater in the woods, we decided to recreate some of our favorite scenes from the movie. The video footage we have is epic and long but what follows is my favorite. If you have not seen the movie, the spot on impressions might not be amusing, but to us, it has been the source of infinite laughter. Crystal wants it to be said that she disapproves of the posting of this video mainly because of the prop make-up and pure and basic lack of hygiene. The rest of us think it is comedy gold.
Then we decided to interpret some signs that were written in another language.



At nightfall in Zion, a real show kicked us out of the amphitheater so we stayed to watch a kid oriented live feature called “He’s not Heavy, He’s my Dinner.” After learning how animals eat each other for food, the hostess asked the crowd what our favorite salad was. This was met with mostly silence except for Crystal, in the very back row who responded rather huskily, “Cesear!” The hostess replied with, “Thanks, dad.” We were all so shocked at how the lady thought Crystal was a man that Ali and Rachel had to sprint immediately to the campground while Crystal and I doubled over in a silent church laugh. We could hear Ali and Rachel re-telling the story to Kris and laughing all the way from the theater. When Crystal and I walked back to the campground, we were met by an elk! It was an amazing site to see in the dark and then we all enjoyed a glorious campfire and music. This was the first night we would get scolded for being too loud for the site but, no matter, it was brilliant fun. On to Vegas! Stay tuned for many blooper reels from this night.

Eternal Flames - Moab, Utah by Tonya

There are some experiences in life, and we’ve all had them, that can’t be summed up in human words. The combination of subject and verb just doesn’t add up to an adequate description. Both of our stops in Utah classify as those moments. No words but I’ll try.
First, a disclaimer: Utah is the punch line of a lot of jokes as the result of a lot of misconception about its radical conservatism but mostly surrounding the subject of plural marriage. Unfortunately, my knowledge of that concept is limited mostly to episodes of Big Love on HBO. I am aware that polygamy is practiced in other states as much as in Utah and that the act is frowned upon by most organized religions. I want to go on the record as saying that I have a deep appreciation for the freedom to worship as I choose and I am happy that others do as well. I celebrate a God who rolls his exasperated eyeballs at me every day but let’s me get up and try again the next day. There are no judgments in this RV of whatever religious practices you wish to employ and I love to embrace and accept lifestyles that are different than my own. Thank goodness we are all different. How boring otherwise, right? Okay, so not to be preachy but I really wanted to make sure nothing was offensive.
Having said that, we have received some studied glances as we’ve traveled across the US but none more than in Utah. For example, when someone asked Kris how did he get so lucky to be traveling with a truck load of girls, he just replied, “They all said yes.”
The Amphitheater was a beautiful stop along the way.

This is a visual of what we were surrounded by at our final campground stop in Moab.
The AC in the RV was struggling so we decided there was really nothing else to do before dinner besides cool off in the pool. When getting ready to go out, my make-up pencils were literally melting on my face. A piece of my luggage fell apart because some of the glue holding it together had melted in the heat. Extreme conditions.
For dinner, we stumbled up on this little gem of a place called Bar M Chuckwagon.

It was plopped down in the middle of the desert in a seemingly middle of nowhere part of town.

Probably my favorite quote of the night was when Crystal ordered the Polygamy Porter and then looked at the waitress and said, “When in Rome, right?”
We were the only people there for the longest time so we made use of some nearby props.


Then a tour bus full of young male Japanese tourists arrived and things really got started. Crystal wanted to rope their translator, Isaac.
The sheriff showed up to say that was not allowed.
There was a Wild West gunfight show before dinner was served.
Then we devoured the cowboy dinner like the true delicate ladies that we are.
Crystal was called on stage to demonstrate her roping skills again.
Then the music show began. At one point, I encouraged the girls to go over to the table of Japanese boys and make them dance. I remember saying, “It’s your patriotic duty as an American to make sure they have fun tonight.”
We also taught them the London Bridge because what’s a dance party without that move?
Their interpreter said we made their night and they wanted to get pictures with us. They kept making a peace sign and telling us to “be careful” which I think may have been the only English phrase they knew.

Then this happened and I thought we were all going to lose it.
Even Kris got in on the sing along.
We made our dramatic exit.

Then things took a turn from the hilarious to the strange. We had arranged for a driver to transport us to and from dinner because we weren’t sure if there would be adequate parking for the RV plus we needed to keep the RV plugged in to the site so the cats wouldn’t burn up. Our driver, Auggi, said he would take us to a place in downtown Moab if we were interested and then he would give us a ride home for free. He said it was a benefit for a friend of his that had been murdered. Interested to experience some authentic local culture that didn’t involve a Wild West gun show and dancing little people, we said sure. We felt so strange upon entering the benefit because it was clear that everyone there had been a close personal friend of this girl’s (It was called “Justice for Shannon”). We stuck out to begin with and then we were afraid that someone would question how we knew Shannon. Let’s just say Shannon had some interesting friends and leave it at that. They entertained us with live music and fire juggling. And all the women there took a severe liking to Crystal One of the girls asked Crystal to dance and she responded, “Well, sure but I’m gonna need you to put on some shoes first.” The lady returned wearing only one flip-flop. Rachel said she hadn’t seen so many mullets in one place since Hillbilly Days in Pikeville, KY. When someone let off a bottle rocket IN THE BAR, Rachel said, “Next time someone tries to make fun of Kentucky, I’m going to bring them to Moab.”
We were highly amused by everything we saw around us.

Dysfunction Junction – Grand Junction, CO - by Tonya

From the mountains to the desert, as we drove a short distance in Colorado, we began to see the landscape around us change pretty drastically. It occurred to me that God is not a one trick pony. He is a diverse artist that does many things and does them all very well.


Upon reaching our next camp ground destination, we found ourselves in a gravel parking lot in blistering heat and within the embrace of 105 degree temperatures. Despite the lack of scenery the camp ground offered, what they did offer made us very happy: spotless bathrooms, immaculate shower facilities and a splash pad! This little sprinkling mushroom saved our lives. The owner of the facility in the green shirt and jeans looks on as though she is a bit suspicious of us.





We dried off by taking advantage of the play ground area.



Dinner was Italian theme this night because I can think of nothing that goes better with 100 degree heat than hot pasta and room temperature red wine.




Some people had trouble keeping their red wine in their cup.


Some folks at our campground definitely asked Kris what his deal was traveling with so many women. People are eyeing us and very curious. We are a strange looking crew.

Colorado was beautiful and so much fun. I’m envious that the residents have such extreme yet amazing scenery they can enjoy. It is the equivalent of winning two new cars in a raffle you forgot you entered. One of them goes really fast, changes from one just-invented color to another, gets its satellite radio from an unknown star, and takes you to wonderful, frightening lands of the future. The other has automatic transmission, sleek lines and touchable faux-leather interior, and always smells like heaven. And the biggest dilemma you face in your life is: which car am I going to drive today? That's a lot like having no problems at all.